4 Tunes I Never Thought I'd hear in Church:

1.              Jingle Bells (a song about going to Bethlehem to greet the newborn Jesus on Christmas).

2.              The Sounds of Silence (#75 in the hymnal, a version of the Our Father sung to this popular tune. Do you think Simon and Garfunkel know?).

3.              Blowin' in the Wind (I don't really know what the words to this one are which makes it even more tempting to sing along like Dylan).

4.              The Little Drummer Boy (although technically a Christmas song, its scriptural inaccuracy and annoying “parumpapumpum” should never be heard in any decent Christian place of worship).

Needy Missionaries

Today's readings call us all to reflect on what it means to be a missionary.  Here's one person's take on it:  http://www.catholicsoncall.org/needy-missionaries

Also, if you are interested in sporting a cool, new Finca T-shirt, check out this link: http://teespring.com/lafinca
They make great gifts and all the profits support the mission of the Farm of the Child.

This Was not in my Job Description

This was not in my job description:

Life at the Finca comes with many surprises including things I never expected to do.  Here are a few of them:

1.              Trash man- Within my first few weeks here, Jacob invited David and me to help with trash collection on the Farm.  We drove around filling the bed of the Nissan Tundra with barrels upon  barrels of trash (including one full of Ruben's stinky diapers).  We dumped it all in the “crematorio”, a nearby dump where the trash is burned.

**As an added bonus, we finished this adventure by filling the bed we just emptied with...you guessed it...cow manure!

2.              Fumigator- We seem to have a bit of a shortage of men on the Finca leaving the 3 of us male missionaries and 1 house dad doing a lot of the “manly jobs” that would be culturally unacceptable or rare for a woman to do.  With Jacob and David gone for a few days, the job of fumigating the Finca for mosquitoes landed on house dads Edgar and Roni (who has since left) and me.  While everyone else was sent to the safety of the beach, Roni and I suited up like ghostbusters with a skin disorder covering every inch of our bodies with long pants, long sleeve shirts, goggles, mask, hat, gloves, and a bandana.  With our gaseous poison spewing from our petroleum-powered backpacks, we trudged around the Finca mostly deaf and blind due to our protective gear to eliminate our 6-legged foes.  I wish I could say I hadn't been bitten by any mosquitoes since then, but this unfortunately is not the case.

3.              Poopy paper burner- Just as it sounds.  Everyday someone from our house has to burn the poopy paper.  About two times a month I get to spend warming myself in the glow of a blazing pile of used toilet paper and plastic wrappers (neither of which like to burn so much as smolder).

4.              Godfather- No, I am not running the family business and there are no canolis involved. Apparently, this job also comes from a lack of men; in this case, men who are in good standing with the Catholic Church and single (I still don't fully understand  why the latter is a requirement to be a Godfather here...but it is).  So back in November I became the Godfather of not 1, not 2, but 4 children. I’m also very excited to be Godfather to Jose Manuel (one of our very own Finca kids) who will be baptized at the end of July. For me and in this culture being a padrino is kind of a big deal, so I really hope I am up to it.

5.              Assistant to the Ambulance Driver- Again, shortage of Y chromosomes=me doing lots of weird jobs.  Our nurses, Deirdre and Ashley often have to make runs to the hospital with medical emergencies.  At night they need a man to go with them as a security precaution.  Don't be alarmed at this seemingly sexist statement.  Yes, women can take care of themselves, but in this country a woman who is seen with a man is much safer than a woman alone at night.  That's how it is here.  Anyway, sometimes we get women at our gate claiming that they are about to “dar a luz” (i.e., give birth).  I rode shotgun as we traveled to the hospital with one such woman. She did not give birth in our truck, but we joked that if she had she would have named the baby after me.   A few days later we found out that she still had named the baby, BUT was considering Kevin as a name!

6.              Fireman- One evening I was cooking dinner.  My cooking partner (who shall remain nameless to protect her identity) and I decided to fry up some guineos (they're like plaintains which are like bananas).   We put the oil on our outdoor wood burning stove in order to heat it up.  A few minutes later I look out the window to see a towering inferno, a monstrous fireball shooting out of the spot where our pan had once been.  Without much time to think of a better solution, I grabbed a bag of corn flour from the table and ran outside.  I dumped the bag on the flames which extinguished the fire only to blaze back up after 2 seconds.  As I was about ready to watch burn down the place, my cooking partner reminded me that we have a fire extinguisher in the house.  Who would have thought?  Someone ran and grabbed it.  Of course, you must remember that we live on the property of a home for children, so needless to say, by this point a small crowd of 11 year old boys had gathered to see what was going on.  After telling the small crowd to stand back, I fired away with the extinguisher.  It really took a lot to finally get the fire out such that we could remove the pan.  The chicken (which was also on the stove) was ruined by the soft, white snow of the extinguisher, but a valuable lesson was learned: Don't put a lid on your fry oil and be careful not to get it too close to flames.  Remember that you have a fire extinguisher.  Only youcan prevent kitchen grease fires!

Well, after several months of living here, I have come to discover the value of the "unofficial 5th pillar" of Finca life: Flexibility.  Sometimes I am asked to do things that may not seem to be my responsibility (especially when it's something stinky, vile, uncomfortable, hazardous, befuddling or all of the above). In the end it's really just all part of the job!

Blessed are Those who Laugh

Here's a sneak preview at what you will see in the upcoming Finca newsletter...be sure to read the whole thing when you receive it.

Recently I’ve been doing a little reflecting on laughter (as I read Fr. James Martin’s book Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life); for me laughter can be such a sign of God’s presence…that life is not so serious as we might sometimes make it out to be. Laughter of course can also be rather disturbing per say when my students snicker as my back is turned to them and I am writing on the board about DNA replication…which is no laughing matter in case it’s been awhile since you’ve been in a biology class.

The laughter that really brings me joy is well…uh…joyful. I think of Brayan on the swing when I pushed him so hard that he could do nothing but explode with laughter, and again more recently when I picked him up about 77 times with him giggling out “otra vez…again, again” between every toss. When this kid feels loved, nothing can stop his laughter. Couldn’t I learn from him?

I think that Kate’s 3rd grade class might be the funniest place on the Farm with 6 of the kids being boys from the Finca itself. Kate (bless her heart) is already on the fast track to sainthood for this. Once when talking about the dangers of tsunamis, one of the boys, Rony, declared that he knew just how to deal with such a disaster. You see, he explained, tsunamis have a fear of crucifixes, so all you have to do when you see the tsunami coming is hold up your crucifix and the waves will turn right back around. Kate always quick on her toes responded, “Uh…maybe, but you might want to move to higher ground too.” 

Another humorous happening in Kate’s class was a discussion of planetary orbits. Kate explained how the planets are pulled by the force of gravity around the sun. Many of the students still had their doubts. Why don’t the planets just fall from their places into the darkness of space? Despite this being a complicated subject for third graders, Angel provided a confident explanation saying, “Each planet is held in place by one of God’s fingers…” he paused noting the mathematical dilemma, “…and two for Pluto!”

One of the things that Fr. Martin points out in his book is that humor has the tendency not only to make us laugh but to reveal some truth. The truth here is this: be children of God. Be like little children “for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these,” says Jesus (Matthew 19:14)—or “Jefuf” as Luz might say, and again he reminds us “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3-4). Yes, maybe Angel and Rony didn’t give the most scientifically correct answer, but certainly God sustains the planets in their places and helps us through difficulties and disasters. These things are true. Angel also reveals to us that Pluto that tiniest, rejected quasi-planet is the one that God supports with the love of two fingers just as He has a special love for the poor and despised. As we stand before God humble and limited, our kids remind us that we shouldn’t try to explain away all the mystery that God’s creation has to offer because sometimes it’s just that--mystery. From this childlike point of view, we begin to see our need for God in all that we do. Our children reveal to us that our planet really is balanced on one of God’s fingers. While we chuckle, they teach us to trust in God.

More December: Christmas Eve!

Christmas Eve (Dec. 24)

Another exciting happening at the Finca this holiday season was the arrival of a live pig! The kids loved going to visit him and feed him. We even took a field trip during Winter School to check him out. Some gave him the name Wilbur (not to be confused with Wilmer, a boy who lives in house 5). 

 

Here Jacob and I are doing our manly duty and eating freshly slaughtered and cooked pig on Christmas Eve. Not quite Uncle George and Aunt Connie’s pork tenderloin sandwiches, but pretty darn good!

Christmas Eve or Noche Buena is the climax of the Christmas festivities here in Honduras. We were fortunate enough to have Mass in our chapel as a Finca community complete with Christmas hymns in English and the birthday song as our recessional hymn. We sang the words “Ya queremos pastel” (a popular 2^nd verse of the birthday song meaning “we want cake already”) after Padre Felipe gave the final blessing. All of this was in honor of Padre Felipe’s mother who joined us for Mass and was celebrating a birthday.

The celebrations continued with a huge feast (see pig above), dance presentations, and two theatrical performances. Below is a picture of our older kids doing a play about Nativity scene full of misfits (eerily reminiscent of the one in our chapel) including Santa Claus, a lion, and an angel with a beard. 

The younger kids did a traditional Christmas pageant complete with swaddling clothes and the Angel of the Lord and a tiger (at least we’re consistent).

We even got a visit from the big man in red!

Not everyone was having a Feliz Navidad.

Somehow I ended up carrying Elena’s princess backpack most of the night.

At midnight we went out to the soccer field, stood in a circle in the darkness to say a prayer of thanksgiving, and proceeded to do what naturally follows…shot off fireworks.

Upon arriving back at our house, we discovered that Santa Claus had already visited us…

And left us a brand new oven!

Feliz Navidad (only a month late!)

More December: Las Posadas

Posadas (Dec. 15-23)

Las Posadas (which means “The Inns”) is a typical Latin American tradition in preparation for Christmas. Las Posadas commemorates Joseph and Mary’s journey to Bethlehem and search for an inn as they prepared for the birth of Jesus. 

There are different variations on this tradition, here is our twist: Every night for 9 nights, one boy dresses as Joseph and one girl dresses as the expectant Mary. Everyone else processes from house to house behind them singing hymns (or at least attempting). At each house a song (from the perspective of Joseph and the innkeepers) is sung back and forth between the anxious crowd outside and those behind the conspicuously closed door. At the first few houses the Holy Family is refused entry due to a lack of space (whose idea was it to have everybody and their brother come back to their hometown just to participate in a census?...and that actually worked?). The procession passes on crestfallen until finally the pilgrims are allowed into the home, and you know the rest of the story from there. 

 

Well, each night there is a reflection of a theme. For us the theme centered around one of the symbols of Christmas from the star to the donkey to gifts to…of course…Santa Claus! Due to my naturally jolly demeanor and little round belly that shakes when I laugh like a bowl full of jelly, I was an obvious choice for the role of ol’ St. Nick.

As Santa…

And as St. Nicholas.

The final night of Posadas took place at our house with the Nativity story.

A Long December: Much Awaited Update

So you, Dear Reader, are not overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information which I will be reporting to you concerning my activities in the month of December, I will be updating with a shorter post once a week for the next three weeks. Stay tuned!

Immaculate Conception (Dec. 8)

What better way to celebrate the Immaculate Conception of Mary than to run across the Finca cheering and singing? Here at the Finca we have several Nicaraguan missionaries and a Nicaraguan religious sister. For Nicas IC is one of the biggest feasts of the year, so it was pretty grand for us this year too. We began with a novena (nine days of prayer), but in true Finca fashion this novena began a little too early to actually end on December 8^th for mysterious reasons. 

Anyway, on the last day of the novena, we split up into groups and went stampeding from house to house on the Finca. Each house had a small altar on the porch with pictures of the Virgin Mary. Upon our arrival we sang a Marian hymn, did a little cheer (“? Quien causa tanta alegría? ...! La Concepción de María!”). At each house we received a Little treat, so all in all it was kind of like Marian trick-or-treating.

Advent

December also meant a time for preparing ourselves for the birth of Christ at Christmas. In the missionary house we decorated in the traditional, North American way, but we also had a Jesse Tree. We decorated our Jesse Tree with symbols from the story of Salvation History as recounted by the Hebrew Scriptures as well as a personal ornament from each missionary that symbolized a family Christmas tradition. My symbol was the train—for the train that we always have around our tree at home, running our Lionel toy trains at the Germantown Train Station, and receiving them as gifts each year.

Our house was lacking in one decoration which in my mind is essential to Advent: the Nativity scene. My mom collects Nativity scenes, so when we decorate almost every surface of our house has one. Because we did not have one in the missionary house, I made this one: 

 

Our chapel was not without a Nativity scene though; in fact, it had a quite inclusive one complete with an elephant, a penguin, and Little Red Riding Hood. Who knew they were there? I trust our Franciscan sisters on this matter whose founder, St. Francis, developed the Nativity scene tradition.

I was also lucky enough during December to go into Trujillo with a few of our little girls to grab some ice cream and see the Christmas decorations around town:

 

*Note: Grandma and Grandpa Kuehl have this same plastic light-up Nativity scene in their window every year.

In Brief:

I saw huge Double Rainbow!

I’m officially a resident of Honduras (special thanks to professional bureaucrats in the Honduran migration office for making the process as sufficiently painful and slow as possible).

House 3 (little boys) spent a week trying to capture and domesticate a baby squirrel.

Winter School ended January 13!

Real school begins February 1!

In December I read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (again), some of David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day, book 1 of The Hunger Games, and I just finished The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien.

Thank you to everyone who sent Christmas cards and packages! It really means a lot more to me than you can know!

To be Continued…